his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
