Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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