i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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