I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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