apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
