Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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