Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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