I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
You're a waste of cheezeits
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
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