When I'm drunk i like to pretend my penis is zeus and instead of peeing i'm throwing lightning bolts into the toilet...it helps me focus.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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