It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
They took my balls.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Randomize
