you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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