Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
