it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
