You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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