i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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