What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
