think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Randomize
