Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
