Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
Randomize
