You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
