I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
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