Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
where does the pee come out of this thing
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
