You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
We talked him into tasing himself.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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