When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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