Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
