If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
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