i dont even know how to be here
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
You can't just leave with hair like that
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
