hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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