I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
