two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
