More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Randomize
