I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
We need to get me chipped asap
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
