at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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