I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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