i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
