Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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