I didn't shave. On purpose
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
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