They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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