I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
