when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
