But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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