i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
