you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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