What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
