Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
