Already got asked if we're dating
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
