She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Randomize
