is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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