he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
