In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
