Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
