i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Randomize
