all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
