no, he came in my armpit
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
