There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I'm always down for nudity.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
