Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
