You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
